| life is a b movie
it's stupid and it's strange
a directionless story
and the dialouge is lame
but in the he said she said
sometimes there's some poetry
if you turn your back long enough
and let it happen naturally
oh, yeah
hell yeah | comments: 6 comments or Leave a comment   |
| "Consciousness must be present if feelings are to influence the subject having them beyond the immediate here and now.”
---Nigel Hollis
Damasco | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| One of the guys that I'm in theater with is loud and proud about his decision to not vote.
His reasoning? McCain is not the guy, and Obama is "the anti-Christ".
Oh, and he can't decide a gay marriage vote.
So he's not going to vote.
He doesn't have "the time to seek out information regarding these subjects..."
Yet, he plays video games, plays capture the flag, lays at the beach and posts often online about being bored.
Really, if we could keep ignorant idiots like him away from the polls more, we may have solved the great issue of blind voting (eeny, meeny, miny, mo voting).
I'm not bashing him for being undecided... these are deep issues.
I just think wonder how, in the age of information--- ignorance became bliss... | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| Convalescing is potentially a long process, but hearts are like bones. You need something around you to protect the injury, a splint or cast. It needs to be set so it doesn't heal crooked.
Linday Brooks. | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
| lemme try to say something that is honest.
I am the chaos.
It surrounds me.
I am the drama.
I cant escape it.
Instead of that feeling liberating--- it sucked. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| Here's the deal with LJL
1. I am not a teen.
2. I have a hard time with the social definition of Christian. Oh yes, the literal works well: "A Believer in Christ and his teachings..." Sure, that works... but I cringe at those around me with crosses tattooed on their feet and JesusFreak bumper stickers.
3. As much as this ought to be a safe place to blog, I know that most of my thoughts are either in reference to my career, which no one can really relate to, concerning my psyche, which makes no sense, or is contradictory multiple times a day.
I blog once a week in Xanga, mostly for the theater majors in my dept who read it.
I have a "secret" blogger thingy that I never go on except to be melodramatic...
It's just...
I don't know.
Maybe I'll resurrect it. | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
| i do read your posts.
even yours andrea.
jenn.
camille.
apryll.
marge.
and clint.
and bassnote.
:)
i read em. | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
| Post?
Oh, Wow... It's a post.
Uhm.
I wrapped my theatrical season today in full. I feel proud. It was a good season, a diverse season, a stressful season, and I learned so much. And isn't that the point?
Everyone believes in my craft worlds more that I do. Sue keeps talking about what my next step should be: New York for three years, grad school at Yale Drama or NYU... Playing circuit full-time... Doing TWILIGHT LA for my culmination from the department...
But what if I want a weekend at the Complex for culmination? What if I want Chad and UCLA, or if I want National Theater Conservatory instead of Yale Drama? OR what if I want to go work for Sony Public Relations Team instead of New York altogether?
I don't know what I want long term.
I have lost the ability to think that far along,
OR
I know that God only blesses when we have open hands.
I'm excited for whatever comes next in life.
For now, I enjoy four months without theater.... classes, workshops, scene studies, yes... but no more full plays until "Parole" in October. I'm tired.
Exhausted.
I just want to be a normal 20 year old...
Really, that's all I want.
I am exhausted. | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
| It's not that I don't care that Heath Ledger died. It's not that at all.
Instead, I am offended (but not at all shocked) that it is all the newspapers, news sources and RSS feeds are talking about.
Can we instead mention that with the Kenyan violence increasing because of the election, the armies have taken to gang raping children? 1,140 this month alone?
Or that inter-tribal murders and brutal violence continue to plague Kenya in the aftermath of last month's disputed presidential elections?
How about the 5.4 million that have died since the beginning of the insurgence in the Congo?
Everyone keeps saying, "He was so talented.." and that's true. He was also gorgeous--- but what about the untapped talent of the millions who are brutally murdered each day, or violently abused?
Keep your RSS to yourself, NY times---
I'm reading the BBC News. | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
| 1. My VU friends are going home.
2. My LA friends are cokeheads, 21 OR on the flip side, don't go out much---nightlife wise.
3. I cannot find anyone to do NYs with me.
How did this happen? | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| Why can't more people be real, and have more conversations based in truth rather than frivolity?
I enjoyed my time with random people last night substantially.
It's nice to talk about things that matter rather than other people for a change. | | comments: 4 comments or Leave a comment |
| I'll be out soon, but first:
Two Crew for "Wonderful Life"
2 pages on LD Interview
2 pages on "Hollywood Christmas"
One 20 page Morgue
One Midterm Makeup
One Christian Worldview Final
One 5,000 word paper on Egyptian Makeup practices
2 Monologues for Audition Class
One Audition
One 12th Night Design
One Lighting Project Due for "Crucible"
4 Rehearsals for "Can't Take It With You"
One Marianne Movement class to shadow
One Makeup Final for Dorian Gray
I can do this.
I can do this.
I can.
Yes. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| i cant manage anything to save my life, and im not strong, im not. im just detached and unaffected, and hey! if you dont care, you cant feel, right? until stuff comes biting you in the ass.
i hate bullshitting my way through life, but effort takes time and caring, and then one develops expectations, and when things dont work out...you end up disapointed.
dont we hate disappointment?
i am so lost and so ready to just fall into God's arms and lie there. we were so intimate today for a moment, and it felt right, and then my ADD-wannabe mind kicked in, and then i started to think of my woes again.
in other news:
ill explain it all. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | comfortable::: john mayer | | Subject: | not a real post | | Time: | 02:10 am |
|
| comfortable by john mayer is stalking me
im in such a bad way with god
and im praying that its just a test
and
trying so hard to be optimistic but
i learned last time that i fought for something that
his ways are greater
or
at the very least
he gets what he wants
thats for sure
and so uhm. im cryptic but if you remember
please pray for me
because
i need a lot of help
not reproof right now | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| | birthdays don't mean much anymore. | | |
| i forget that although I no longer use LJ that that doesn't mean that many friends that I care about do.
and lets be honest: we censor ourselves on xanga. | | comments: 4 comments or Leave a comment |
| I find it hard to say that everything is alright
Dont look at me that way like everything is alright
Cause my own eyes can see through all your false pretenses
But what you fail to see is all the consequences
You think our lives are cheap and easy to be wasted
As history repeats so foul you can taste it
And while the people sleep to comfortable to face it
His life’s so incomplete and nothing can replace it
And while the people sleep to comfortable to face it
your life’s so incomplete and nothing can replace it
fret not thyself i say against these laws of man
cause like the bible says his blood is on their hands
and what i gotta say, and what I gotta say is rebel,
while today is still today, choose well
and what i got a say, is rebel
it cant go down this way, choose well, choose well,
choose well, choose well, choose well, choose well
And while the people sleep, too comfortable to face it
your life’s so incomplete and nothing and no one can replace it
oh no no no no no no no
and what I gotta say (x8) is rebel (x6)....
repent, the day is far too spent,
rebel, rebel
wake up (x8) and rebel
we must destroy in order to rebuild
wake up you might as well
are you, are you satisfied,
are you satisfied, rebel
ohh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh rebel
why dont you rebel? (x3)
Out with subterfuge, and this complacency can go to hell too. Can we all just be a little more intense? Can we realize how high the stakes really are all the time, and really figure out what it means to live for something.. to live for everything every single day? Can we really focus
in on the moments, and stop being so damned concerned with public opinion? Not only is there a revolution demand, but a new reality needs to be created on all fronts. Why are so many hurting? Why are so many alone? Why are so many scared? We can quote bible verses for eternity, but if they awaken to response in the heart, or the soul... your ruminations are mindless. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | first taste: fiona apple | | Time: | 08:49 pm |
|
| "I'm limited... and just look at you...
you can do all I couldn't do...
now-
it's up to you.
*sigh*
I feel stopped, in my tracks, which crooked as they were, at least I was doing something.
moving.
Which is worse: walking in circles, or standing still? | | comments: Leave a comment |
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